Seven weeks since the youngest daughter left for college on the East Coast, no less leaving zero option of her coming home for a weekend visit. I am doing fine. I’m making plans, filling my schedule, attending events, having friends over, when all of a sudden it hits me…..sadness comes and the tears begin to flow. What? (more…)
Ta Da! The day has arrived. It is here. As surreal as it may feel tonight is opening night for my second one woman original show. I don’t know why nor understand this surreal feeling, but for me it seems to feel a bit like being in Jello. Not that I have ever actually experienced being in Jello so this is purely what I imagine it must certainly feel like 🙂 And so despite the Jello feeling I am pursuing my dream I am moving forward I am pushing through.
This show is happening despite feeling ‘weird’. Is this what going after ‘what’s in my heart to do’ feels like? Though I don’t really have any idea what all of this pursuing ones dreams would actually feel like. So I have decided to allow myself to feel any and all the feelings that emerge, excitement, nervous, anticipation, and back to excitement. Except for FEAR! Nope THAT one is not staying nor visiting nor camping out. Fear never did nothing. I have a show to perform tonight and more. I have a dream in my heart that longs to play out in this life I am living. And living is what I intend to do. Join me on the adventure.
With “opening night” advancing quickly this will be a busy week of final rehearsals heading into the equally busy week of dress rehearsal, Fringe preview night , tech rehearsal then SHOWTIME.
All are welcome to preview night August 13 @6:00 pm @ the Athenaeum on Michigan and Alabama. It will be a fun evening to see snippets of many of the fringe shows.
I am very eager and excited to take the stage this year with my new show Simply…Complicated. This show represents my desire to simply entertain an audience, take some risks and have fun. I hope many of you will come out to the show. I’m excited to meet you and chat with you at the Beer Tent.
This year I am trying something new selling my own “backer buttons” Fringe no longer requires you to purchase their buttons so I came up with my own. Let me know after the show if you would like one.
Paper Dolls $15
T shirts $20
I am performing in the production The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe at the Athenaeum 407 E Michigan St, Indianapolis, IN 46204 which coincidentally opens tonight March 14 7:30 then 2:00 & 7:30 Saturday March 15 and 4:00 Sunday March 16. yes I just shamelessly plugged the show. Most of us
are familiar with the C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia. I was. Going through rehearsal and more rehearsal the lines came out as I walked about the stage landing on the “spots” called blocking, entering and exiting on cue. It was work hammering out the essence of each of our characters that we are to bring to life for our audience and for C.S. Lewis. This is the craft of acting and it is magic when the acting transcends beyond performance where the audience can be profoundly moved. It is rare. It is valuable. It is often fleeting and often missed.
Sometimes this magical moment happens to the actor on stage going through the lines, blocking, exiting and entering. This rare and fleeting moment happened to me in rehearsal in the work when “that” moment grabbed my attention. Aslan was being confronted by the Captain of the witches army while Peter stood there with his weapon not expecting to fight because Aslan was there. Despite the jeers and taunts from the captain Aslan could have put a quick end but instead he encouraged Peter to fight this enemy. And suddenly I realized before my very eyes this is exactly what God does with us with me. He gives us the encouragement, the strength, the tools and says, “go you can do this I am right here”! There is no power or strength if Aslan steps in to do for Peter what Aslan had equipped Peter to do. Peter rose to the occasion and defeated what he thought he never could. Bravery, courage, confidence and power replaced fear and weakness. Peter stepped into his new identity because Aslan with all the power to fight this battle FOR Peter did the most powerful act…………Aslan stepped aside and changed Peter’s life forever. Thank you Aslan.
Last night, February 24 I had the fabulous opportunity to perform I said NO! Having been INVITED to perform I was thrilled, excited and my heart filled with eager anticipation. As I put on my black dress, knickers, jewelry, lipstick and fiddled with my hair my mind was at peace running my lines and stage movement. Staring at myself in the mirror ready…I smiled at me………..I’m doing my dream.
Taking the stage I began a bit nervous but soon settled into the utter joy of performing the show I created. The lines came out different they were deeper. I felt each word pulling from within me something more was resonating in my own soul. Something different was happening. Last night went beyond acting out a story even though it is a part of my own life story. Those familiar lines merged with the passion in my heart. Speaking them I felt the full emotion envelop each word as it left my lips. I could feel these words touching hearts. I felt the power the beautiful power of this story, show…performance.
Last night I stepped into what future possibilities hold for me, this show and the future shows to come. My heart sang, smiling I took my bow. I got a standing ovation.
Go ahead and mark your calendars I am in!!! Indy Fringe Festival August 14-24, 2014!! The creative process has begun or shall I say “my creative process” has begun. Creating a new show is the plan. Creating a humorous perhaps even laughable show for my audience is my goal.:)
Despite having successfully created and performed my first show, “I said NO” I find this beginning process a challenge. My mind is already at the finished product. I just need to fill in the start and finish parts. Which brings me to the “writing” process. You see I don’t really technically “write” a show. Writing out word for word is way to laborious for me. Besides what if I forget my line? Problem solved I write my ideas, thoughts, talking points on post-it notes. Colored post-it notes based on topics. My heart is where the script lies. Once I know the topic the words flow. Isn’t this brilliant? I think so. It works for me and relieves me of the burden of intense dialog script writing. My director Tim Taylor arranges these post-it notes on a poster board and there will be the order of my show.
Hmmmmm………..what will I title this show?
I recently performed my show I said NO for a private event. This event presented several “firsts” for me: invited to perform based on seeing my show at Indy Fringe Festival; was a private event eager to have me perform; a paying gig. While these were fantastic external effects of my show it was the internal aspect that meant the most to me.
For the first time in my life I felt I had something deep within me to offer others. I had created my first one woman show. I was there for a purpose. I was there because someone saw something in me they wanted, not to take from me but to receive from me. They wanted my talent to shine. I was wanted. I had been sought after. They wanted the gift within me to be shared and presented for others to benefit from. I could feel the pull on the gift within me. I could feel the tangible electricity fill the room as I stood there about to begin. My heart swelled as I realized I was doing exactly what I felt I was created to do, stand before an audience giving out of my heart to inspire, encourage and offer hope.
I began. The show began. The performance began. The audience came alive. They gasped. They laughed. They wept. They cheered. They applauded. They hugged me. They told me I was bold, courageous, funny, inspiring, amazing, strong and gifted. They told me about their stories and how I caused them to think deeply about their own lives. They told me they couldn’t stop talking about my show to their wives and now wanted to be a better man, husband and father. They told me it was thought provoking, profound, compelling and for some speechless.
I drank in their words and their hugs. I was pleased to have given and exceptionally pleased they had received. I had experienced in this performance what I had longed for for years……….to profoundly touch another life. For me this wasn’t about a show or a performance those were simply the avenues in which I must do in order for me to come fully alive. I was simply being Susan sharing a story from the heart. I was simply Susan sharing the gift within. And I sure had the time of my life.
“the impact was amazing I highly recommend “I said NO”……..it speaks to a variety of deep issues of the heart in a profoundly winsome way” Dave Noel, CEO at ISSM
In all the excitement of doing my first 3 shows I neglected to share this review http://missionintrigueindy.com/say-yes-to-i-said-no-fringe13/ I’m pleased and again humbled by this experience of performing my first solo performance.
What I learn and further develop from this experience I find exciting and fascinating. Full of emotions to say the least. Excited for the next 3 shows and equally excited to stand back to reflect of what to change, keep, adjust and improve. With much eagerness I look forward to what is to come.
3 days…………..then opening night. How do I express this feeling within my heart and soul of something I have wanted for such a very long time is about to come to pass. I can tell you that “surreal” feeling is long gone in fact I don’t think I have even had that feeling. I kept waiting for the “surreal” feeling to come but it never did. Strange, & odd, I kept thinking. Shouldn’t I be feeling “that”?
What I have felt was an amazing sense of peace. That peace that passes all understanding! Silly to even think I should be scared, nervous, overwhelmed……………..and I’m not, though at a few moments these feelings have tried to sneak in. Entertaining these culprits is not an option. I cast them aside. Then quickly, sheer determination, & focus break through. I will climb this mountain. I will make it to the summit. Living my life with purpose is highly motivating. My life does matter despite being one of billions. One voice can make a difference in the lives of others.
With days away to opening night I don’t have time to be afraid any longer. Fear never accomplished anything. There is too much at stake to be afraid. Oh yeah, I’ve thought about what if I forget my lines? What if I make a mistake? What if nobody likes my show? What if……………what if………………what if……………………….?
And the revolutionary transformation that has taken place within my heart is……………..so what! So what if I forget lines or my blocking! So what if nobody likes my show! My confidence isn’t in my ability but in the One who made me. I am performing for an audience of one. Never before have I entered into such a place that I find myself. It feels as if I have entered the correct highway and now is the time to shift into 6th gear and press on the pedal. My destination awaits. Enjoy the ride!
With 9 days to go I am now counting in the single digits. Bear with me as I cannot escape the similarities of being in labor and delivery with the rehearsals and immanent opening night. This process is like being pregnant, lots of preparation, planning then suddenly the labor begins and all the planning seems a distant past as the intensity consumes your thoughts and any distraction is an equally intense annoyance. All energy is spent on the labor with the goal of delivery.
The time is here and no escaping the intense and focused rehearsals with 9 days until opening night. The most common statement a woman in labor says, “I changed my mind I don’t want to do this anymore” I have felt this in the past several weeks and have even said it silently in my head. But only in my head! My heart presses on!
Tonight at the Fringe theatre is the annual fundraiser “The Longest Dinner” in which a very long table is set and a fabulous dinner is served. I’m going to mix and mingle with the many guests attending. I will be wearing my sandwich board. I will be promoting my show.