What if? and So what!
3 days…………..then opening night. How do I express this feeling within my heart and soul of something I have wanted for such a very long time is about to come to pass. I can tell you that “surreal” feeling is long gone in fact I don’t think I have even had that feeling. I kept waiting for the “surreal” feeling to come but it never did. Strange, & odd, I kept thinking. Shouldn’t I be feeling “that”?
What I have felt was an amazing sense of peace. That peace that passes all understanding! Silly to even think I should be scared, nervous, overwhelmed……………..and I’m not, though at a few moments these feelings have tried to sneak in. Entertaining these culprits is not an option. I cast them aside. Then quickly, sheer determination, & focus break through. I will climb this mountain. I will make it to the summit. Living my life with purpose is highly motivating. My life does matter despite being one of billions. One voice can make a difference in the lives of others.
With days away to opening night I don’t have time to be afraid any longer. Fear never accomplished anything. There is too much at stake to be afraid. Oh yeah, I’ve thought about what if I forget my lines? What if I make a mistake? What if nobody likes my show? What if……………what if………………what if……………………….?
And the revolutionary transformation that has taken place within my heart is……………..so what! So what if I forget lines or my blocking! So what if nobody likes my show! My confidence isn’t in my ability but in the One who made me. I am performing for an audience of one. Never before have I entered into such a place that I find myself. It feels as if I have entered the correct highway and now is the time to shift into 6th gear and press on the pedal. My destination awaits. Enjoy the ride!