Actress | Storyteller | Speaker

What if? and So what!

Posted by on Aug 12, 2013

What if? and So what!

3 days…………..then opening night.  How do I express this feeling within my heart and soul of something I have wanted for such a very long time is about to come to pass.  I can tell you that “surreal” feeling is long gone in fact I don’t think I have even had that feeling.  I kept waiting for the “surreal” feeling to come but it never did.  Strange, & odd, I kept thinking.  Shouldn’t I be feeling “that”? 
What I have felt was an amazing sense of peace.  That peace that passes all understanding!  Silly to even think I should be scared, nervous, overwhelmed……………..and I’m not, though at a few moments these feelings have tried to sneak in. Entertaining these culprits is not an option. I cast them aside. Then quickly, sheer determination, & focus break through. I will climb this mountain.  I will make it to the summit.  Living my life with purpose is highly motivating.  My life does matter despite being one of billions.  One voice can make a difference in the lives of others.

With days away to opening night I don’t have time to be afraid any longer.  Fear never accomplished anything. There is too much at stake to be afraid.   Oh yeah, I’ve thought about what if I forget my lines?  What if I make a mistake? What if nobody likes my show?  What if……………what if………………what if……………………….?  

And the revolutionary transformation that has taken place within my heart is……………..so what!  So what if I forget lines or my blocking!  So what if nobody likes my show! My confidence isn’t in my ability but in the One who made me.  I am performing for an audience of one. Never before have I entered into such a place that I find myself.  It feels as if I have entered the correct highway and now is the time to shift into 6th gear and press on the pedal. My destination awaits. Enjoy the ride!